Thursday, May 11, 2006
Anger? Do I "write angry"?
People sometimes tell me that at times I "write angry," at least in tone or feeling. This is how some people feel as they read my words.
I can honestly say that I'm seldom angry when I write.
I've been angry at times, of course.
But, I have to tell you the posts I write when I'm angry never make it to the blog. My angry stuff is like a therapeutic journal to rid my soul of its burden so I can move on.
Still, the reports get back to me occasionally that I concern people because of my anger.
I appreciate the feedback.
It causes me to really look inside, to reflect on what is really going on in my head and heart.
It is painful to watch good people, especially children suffer due to want, need and bias. I try hard to keep things in perspective, to face my limitations, to recognize that life is real and hard and at times unchanging.
If I am angry, it is due to this intractable pain and the needless despair that so often accompanies it.
Often really nice people just can't understand me. I guess that is why I put this blog up in the first place. Like everyone else, I want people to look, to see and to at least get a notion about the world that I encounter every day.
It is interesting that the people I work with on a daily basis are also the people who bring me the reports that others are saying I am angry. Invariably these friends and associates tell me, as they report, just how surprised they are when others call me out for anger. They just don't see me as an angry guy.
Focus, passion, insanity, dogged persistence, incurable idealism, naivete--yep, they can see all that.
I'm just not normally an angry guy.
Maybe I need to go back and read all that I've written here (whoa! there is a horrid thought!).
Maybe I do "write angry."
If so, I need to figure out what my anger means.