Parents' investment in enrichment

Gap on enrichment expenditures reflected below.

Reckon money matters to children and their ability to learn?

3 wishes

As I age, the wisdom, joy and hope of children become more essential in my life and experience.

My 5-year-old granddaughter, Gracie, spent some time with me over the New Year's weekend. Hard to believe it's 2008. How do we make it through the year ahead?

At one point during her visit, Gracie and I were alone--actually hiding from her mom trying to extend our time together!--and the subject of what she wished for came up.

"Gracie, if you had three wishes, what would you wish," I asked her.

"That's easy, granddad," she replied.

Quickly, she reeled off her top three wishes for me.

"First, I wish unicorns were real.

"I wish birds would come to you.

"And, last, I wish that whatever I wished for would come true," she told me.

No fool, my Gracie!

Maybe I find just what I need for 2008 in her short list of wishes.

One part magic and mystery. Everyone has to embrace the hope and possibility of myth to survive this world, at least it seems so to me.

One part harmony with the simple, but uncontrollable things of life. Something as beautiful and free as a bird really should come to you when you call, especially when you intend no harm to the natural order, but desire only to know it more completely. For Gracie all things living are intriguing and filled with sheer wonder. She just wants a closer look! Me too.

One part impossibility, at least alone. No one can have every wish come true. But it is clear to me, after spending an afternoon with my granddaughter, that we'll come closer to realizing the really important dreams if we stick together. What works for families also works for communities of people.

Three little wishes that bring all of life into better focus.

I'm wishing for more time with Gracie, Wyatt and Owen during my New Year!

Dads

In a game against the Colorado Rockies, on June 28, 2007, Houston Astros' Craig Biggio became the 27th player in Major League Baseball history to pound out his 3,000 career hit. The record hit came in the 7th inning of the game.

What caught my attention after his major accomplishment was a dugout photo, published in ESPN Magazine (July 16, 2007, page 20), of Biggio kissing his son, Conor, who serves as an Astros' batboy. I haven't been able to find that particular shot online. It is a classic.

Biggio has always been a great player with lots of heart, hustle and class, at least in my opinion.

But, photos following his 3,000th hit made it very clear that he enjoys a powerful relationship with his family. Conor; his daughter, Quinn; and his wife are all involved at the moment of his triumph. The photos included here, all shot by AP photographer David J. Phillip, document the sort of dad Biggio tries to be.

One thing I've learned in every community where I've lived and worked: kids need dads who care and who aren't afraid to make their love, care, commitment and concern known again and again. . . to the child.

But, it goes beyond the family.

Communities need fathers who care and who love their kids.

Need some proof? Ask a teacher or a police officer or a retailer or a community organizer.

Community health depends on strong fathers.

Suburbs.

Inner city.

Rural villages.

The nature of the geography or the demographics doesn't much matter. The needs and effects are the same.

Dads who love their families are prerequisite for thriving communities.

I suppose I am so sensitive to this reality because I've seen and known so many children and so many communities whose dads have let them down.

The reasons are important, and sometimes complex, often sad or maddening. But, the reasons don't matter much right here.

The facts are clear.

Dads need to step up the plate. They need to stay in the game. They cannot quit.

When committed to the joy of loving their kids, fathers will be champs with outcomes much more significant than 3,000 career major league hits! What we're talking here is "hall of fame" performance. . .day-by-day.

A Harsh Mothers' Day in Urban America

Severe poverty hit a 32 year high in 2005.

Most of the severely poor (under $10,000 annual income for a family) in the United States are women and children.

Life for most single mothers in the urban centers of our nation is indescribably tough.

Limited income never translates to the curtailment of need.

Children all need the same basics: nutritious food, decent housing, emotional nurture, safe places to play and to learn, access to routine, preventive medical attention, engaged parents.

Poverty cuts hard and persistently against every single one of these basic needs.

Poverty unsettles the equilibrium of communities, families, adults and children. Poverty throws everything out of kilter. Poverty introduces many negatives to the equation of life in our cities.

Over the past almost 40 years, I've watched poor women struggle to do their best by their children, often without the help of the men in their lives. I've seen lots of courage. Sadness has been a constant companion, as well. I've seen the love and the devotion, the pride and the fear.

I'm convinced that as women find ways to battle through poverty, they and their children achieve great and surprising things.

But the poverty is a power to be reckoned with.

My hat is off to every mom today who struggles on alone and poor in an increasingly difficult social and economic environment.

Shame on us as a people if we refuse to enter the struggle to see things improve for our weakest and most vulnerable neighbors.

We must do better.

Owen James

Owen James Frazer entered my world one year ago today!

As a result, May 7, 2006 will always be one of the very best days of my entire life!

From the first moment that I saw him, Owen drilled into my heart and carried me away, just like his two older cousins.

He reaffirms for me the amazing truth that no matter how many grandchildren you have, each one of them gets all of your love!

Owen is my third, and what an amazing and special little fellow he is.

Well, not so "little," actually.

At one-year-old today, Owen is almost three feet tall and weighs in at around 30 pounds! Talk about a "squeezable" little bundle of love!

Isn't it amazing how every child is different, their own unique person from the moment they arrive?

Owen is physically strong and big for his age. He has a gentle spirit and an extremely calm soul about him.

He can be as serious as a judge, as he carefully observes his world!

He can also laugh with cut-loose joy and hilarity when we tickle him or sing to him or play with him.

He reminds me of both of his parents.

He loves balls and toys and Einstein videos and dogs and Taco, the cat.

He's always excited when his dad comes home from work and he always seems glad to fall into my arms. And, he waves his arms when he sees me and he's even started to share my granddad growl that both of my grandsons seem to understand instinctively. Gracie just laughs at me and says, "Oh, Granddad! You're silly!" The boys growl back.

He started walking this week. . .it would probably be good for the walking part if we would all just put him down more often, but everyone fights to hold him!

He has been a "good baby" since he got here, whatever exactly that means! I think it has to do with crying and sleeping, etc. You know, parent concern sort of matters that relate to ease of care and hours of night time sleep! Everyone who really understands the meaning always seems to say this. And, I certainly agree, he is a good baby.

Like his granddad, he loves a good meal and good company.

Owen has no way to understand how much I love him, though I know he gets part of the story already. I'll spend the rest of my life letting him know how important he is to me and just how deep my love really is. It has no limits.

Grandchildren remind me of how much I love their parents. They also reveal what life is supposed to be.

Nothing is better.

Happy birthday, Owen!

Granddad loves you, boy!

Nourishing Our Children: a "pro-quality-of-life" movement

Rev. Gerald Britt serves as Vice President of Public Policy and Community Program Development here at Central Dallas Ministries.

On Saturday, March 3, 2007, Gerald spoke to the Connections 2007 Child and Adolescent Advocacy Conference, an annual event in Dallas sponsored by the Women's Council of Dallas County and Children's Medical Center.

Gerald entitled his speech, "Nourishing Our Children."

I think you will benefit from reading it.
______________________________

NOURISHING OUR CHILDREN

There once was a sociology professor who, when taking his afternoon constitutional, came upon a young mother spanking her child in the front yard. He stopped at once and patiently, but firmly, confronted the young woman. "You must not spank your child," he said, "you will traumatize him. You must love them."

That weekend, the professor was working on his driveway, spreading new cement. Suddenly, this young woman’s son and some of his friends ran through his yards and ran right through the fresh cement. The professor angrily ran after them, shouting and threatening to give them a good spanking. The young woman saw this happen and said, "Professor, I thought we were to love our children not spank them." To which the professor replied, "I love children in the abstract, but not in the concrete!"

This is why we are here today. We represent, care for and work with families and communities, whose interests are in the plight of our children, children whose futures must be considered uncertain at best and bleak at the very worst. According to the Center for Public Policy Priorities in Austin, 17.8% of children under the age of 18, live in poverty across the U.S. In Texas, 23.2% of those of the same age range are living in households that qualify as poor. That means that 23% of our children are in families struggling to make it on $20,000 a year in a family of four, according to 2006 Federal Poverty Guidelines[1]. Precious little could be more shameful.

Our challenge is to change the nature of conversation regarding children, from abstract political rhetoric, to aggressive, creative, substantive public policy proposals and recommendations that will lead to the reforms that will result in better health care, education and job opportunities for parents now and for children if they or we, for that matter, are to have a real future. These are our children, and we can no longer afford to love them in the abstract. Our children are the embodiment of our hopes and dreams. They are the beneficiaries of our legacies and the heritage of our families and communities. We want these children to have lives that are healthy, happy and whole.

Truly nurturing children means that we provide them with the hope that comes through being educated. When I say educated, I mean really educated. We are not educating children by teaching them to be proficient test takers. We are not educating children when we don’t expose them to art and music at a young age. We are not educating them when we don’t teach them to appreciate, learn from and apply the lessons to be learned in great literature and history. And we can never teach them if we do not believe they can learn, and learn at high levels.

Children living in low-income neighborhoods experience unequal access to quality education compared to children who live in higher income neighborhoods. In Texas where property taxes help fund public school districts, children who attend public school in low-income communities have fewer dollars per student spent on them than public schools in higher income communities. Disparities in school funding lead to inequalities of available resources across school districts, including up to date text books; science-lab equipment, computer, music, and sports equipment; field trips and other extracurricular activities, taken for granted in wealthier communities.

We cannot nurture children if they are not healthy. Our children swing between obesity and food insecurity. In our most distressed neighborhoods, choice, affordability and transportation are issues, even when it comes to food. Grocery stores that sell wholesome, nutritional food at affordable prices are in scarce supply, while cheap fast food choices are stacked upon one another leaving encouraging diets that consist of fried fish, fried chicken, barbecue and hamburgers, along with assorted chips and soft drinks.

We cannot nourish our children, if we don’t nourish them physically. Implementing a ‘testocracy’ in our schools has taken away things like gym class and recess. The absence of safe parks and the presence of crime, the overpopulation of stray animals, and poorly equipped recreation centers, leave our children few options when it comes to creatively occupying themselves.

We cannot nourish our children if we do not tend to their overall health. Regular immunizations, doctor check ups, dental hygiene are all problems for the poor. Without health insurance, CHIP or MEDICAID, the most routine health care problems are brought to the primary care physician of last resort: the emergency room doctor.

But most importantly, we cannot nourish children, unless we provide opportunity for their parents. While Leave No Child Behind is being acknowledged as a relatively effective strategy for successful public education, we are forgetting that if we leave parents behind, we place every child at risk of being left behind.

While poverty itself may not cause negative outcomes in children, it often co-occurs with many stressors that may be harmful: stressors such as single parenthood, four or more children in that child’s household, and the lack of a high school diploma or GED by the child’s parent. One study found that only 22% of poor children experienced poverty with no other risk factors (the aforementioned ‘stressors’). About half experienced poverty plus one other risk factor; almost a quarter experienced poverty plus two other risk factors; and 5% experienced all the risk factors. Negative outcomes associated with poverty, plus two or more of these risk factors, include behavioral and emotional problems and problems in school. Among children ages 6-11, 18% of those who were considered at high risk (exhibiting three or more risk factors) also exhibited a high level of behavioral problems (compared to 6% of other children), and 32% exhibited low school engagement (compared to 14% of other children[2]).

We cannot even think of eliminating poverty among children, apart from what we do for the adults in the households in which they live.

Consider these facts:

·One third of Texas families are classified as low income and 41% of Texas workers work at jobs that pay a median hourly wage of $10 or less[3].

·The Lone Star State ranks close to the bottom in providing essential support services such as affordable health care and adult education[4].

·Texas has the most restrictive limit on unemployment insurance in the nation[5]

·Texas is nearly last in providing adult education[6]

·Texas has the highest number of adults without a high school diploma or a GED[7]

·Texas ranks 45th in the number of unemployed adults in the Workforce Investment Act[8]

·Our state has over 53% of low income families with at least one adult without health insurance[9].

There is no such thing as rich children growing up in a home of poor adults. Adult poverty impedes the cognitive development of children and their ability to learn. It contributes to behavioral, social and emotional problems. It can lead to poor health as well. Research tells us that the risks posed by poverty are greatest among children who experience poverty when they are young and among children who experience persistent deep poverty[10].

And so, our challenge is to nurture our children by beginning a "pro-quality-of-life" movement.

This is a movement which seeks to make textbooks more available to our children than guns; this is a movement that seeks to make well-balanced meals more the norm for our children than drugs and alcohol; this is a movement that wants to make early childhood development programs and after-school enrichment more accessible than opportunities for mischief and crime. This is the movement that wants to improve and build more public schools, colleges and universities, than prisons. This is a movement that wants jobs that pay a living wage, so that parents can model dignity and self-worth as they provide for their children.

This "pro-quality-of-life" movement spans the length and breadth of our cities and communities. And it must be based on the understanding that if all children don’t have a future, none of us has a future.

In one of my favorite Peanuts cartoons, Lucy demands that Linus change TV channels and then threatens him with her fist if he doesn’t. "What makes you think you can walk right over her and take over?" asks Linus.

"These five fingers," says Lucy. "Individually, they’re nothing, but when I curl them together like this into a single unit, they form a weapon that is terrible to behold."

"Which channel do you want?" asks Linus.

Turning away, he looks at his fingers and says, "Why can’t you guys get organized like that?"

The only way that we are going to change the political channel to which Texas is tuned, is for us to organize. Politicians and public officials must see advocates for Texas children that look like Texas. Texas is Black, white and brown. Texas is affluent, middle class and poor. Texas is North Dallas, Plano and South Dallas. It is Houston’s Fifth Ward, the East Side of San Antonio and the Colonias. If legislation is not passed that it is good for all of us, then it is not good for any of us.

The voice of the "pro-quality-of-life" movement must be heard. It must be heard if ours is to be a true democracy. It must be heard if people in distressed and blighted communities are to have hope. It must be heard if our children are truly to be educated. It must be heard if third world islands are not to be permitted in the midst of the great waters of our large urban centers.

This voice must be heard if "justice is to run like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream."

This voice must be heard if our children are to be nurtured and their very lives are to be rescued from marginalization and the annihilation of poverty and despair.

[1] Center for Public Policy Priorities, “Texas Poverty 101” Policy Brief, February 2006
[2] p. 7 The Status of Women and Girls in Dallas County: A Review of the Academic Literature,
Prepared by: Elizabeth Fawcett, Frances Means, Rodney A. McDanel, and Susan Eve August 2002
School of Community Service, University of North Texas, Denton, Texas
[3] Center for Public Policy Priorities, Austin, Texas – News Release, “Many Texas Families Work Hard But Struggle to Make Ends Meet”
[4] ibid
[5] ibid
[6] ibid
[7] ibid
[8]ibid
[9] ibid
[10] National Center for Children in Poverty, Columbia University, Mailman School of Public Health. “Who are America’s Poor Children?: Why child poverty matters

"just like a penthouse. . ."

We sat in one of the meeting rooms in the community center located in the middle of the oldest public housing development (known as "the projects" to locals) west of the Mississippi River--at least, that is the common folklore in these parts.

The room was packed.

Folks were expecting to meet with all seven of the leading mayoral candidates now vying for that office here in Dallas.

Only two candidates showed up--Sam Coats and Gary Griffith.

One thing I know. The folks in that room will remember who showed up for them.

I was impressed and encouraged by the conversation and the give and take that took place so easily between voters and candidates.

One woman who lived in another housing development in far South Dallas, located in one of the toughest, most neglected parts of our city, stood up to ask a question.

"You know," she began, "it's not where you live but how you live that matters most."

"Amens" filled the room.

"My apartment is just like a penthouse to me, 'cause God gave me a roof over my head and my children's. I'm grateful for what we have. But, we want what everyone wants. We want to be safe and we want good things for our children."

There it is.

Everything that matters, found in one room in an East Dallas public housing development: quality of life, safety, opportunity for children, respect, dignity and fairness.

I've decided we need to spend more time listening to one another.

And, we need to accord more respect and value to those who know poverty and its challenges best.

Wyatt James

April 2, 2004 stands out among a handful of days that I rank as "the best" and "the happiest" in my life so far.

Three years ago today, Wyatt James Toombs found his way into the world and, he too, went straight for his granddad's heart!

During a good bit of the first year of his life, Wyatt and his family lived in New Braunfels, Texas. As a result, I didn't get to spend much time with him until his family moved back to Dallas about two years ago when he was a bit less than a year old. Since then, I've tried to make up for lost time!

Wyatt is amazing.

Active beyond words, possessing a bit of a quick temper and a highly competitive spirit, Wyatt has a tender heart and a deep reservoir of emotional energy. He will grow up to be a sensitive man with lots of passion, I expect.

Already he loves tools and trucks and trains and action! He can be so very funny!

He displays the ability to really connect with people. He is a charming little dude!

Like his big sister, Wyatt can slow me down in a heartbeat.

"Come on, granddad! Let's go upstairs and see my trains. Percy needs a battery," he calls out to me, as he leads up up the stairs, flying ahead of me because he knows I will come every time.

Or, "Granddad, where are you?"

Talk about automatic and on-going self-inventory!

And, like his sister, he teaches me what life is really all about. Purpose, direction, meaning, hope, laughter, surprise and joy are all wrapped up for me in getting to be his granddad.

He cannot know today how much I love him, though I tell him every time we are together. I hope I live long enough for him to know the full extent of my love.

Today is hard for me because I find myself out-of-town on business. Even though we have a big family party planned for Wyatt and Gracie next weekend, this afternoon I'll miss his party with his friends at "Pump-It-Up."

I can just hear him telling me again, "Granddad, I can jump a lot and I can go down the big slide!"

I hope I don't miss another birthday party. I know I'll be trying not to from here on out.

Happy Birthday, Wyatt!

Granddad loves you!

God, miracles and children

"In music, in a flower, in a leaf, in an act of kindness ... I see what people call God in all these things. "
- Pablo Casals

"The child must know that he is a miracle, a miracle, that since the beginning of the world there hasn't been and until the end of the world there will not be another child like him. He is a unique thing, a unique thing, from the beginning until the end of the world. Now, that child acquires a responsibility: “Yes, it is true, I am a miracle. I am a miracle like a tree is a miracle, like a flower is a miracle. Now, if I am a miracle, can I do a bad thing? I can't because I am a miracle, a miracle.”
- Pablo Casals

[Original watercolor, "Traversing the Hills" Limited Edition Print by Roderick MacIverUnframed Original from Heron Dance A Pause for Beauty #197-- www.herondance.org.]

Gracie Bea

March 31, 2002, five years ago today ranks as one of the very best and happiest days of my entire life.

It was on that very special day that Gracie Bea Toombs made her way into the world and right into my heart.

It is difficult to realize that she is already five-years-old, but she is. If you don't believe it, just ask her!

Gracie teaches me many things, among the best lessons so far is this understanding that life flies past and that you have to be intentional about the moments. I don't always do so well with this truth, but every time I stop to be with her or every time she shares time with me, I always feel better, more alive and in touch with what matters most in life.

Gracie's namesake was her great-grandmother, Bea Moore Erwin. Gracie shares in the richness of her great-grandmother's spirit and love. Bea died before Gracie was born, but I have this feeling they know each other.

She has a wisdom about her beyond her years, a focus, a joy, a curiosity and a built-in sense of adventure and playfulness that makes me feel much younger than I am. I expect this is the plan God has for grandchildren and grandparents. This plan makes me very, very glad.

Gracie is fun and funny! She is smart and sensitive. She cares and she loves.

Nothing is more satisfying than simply watching her in the ordinary moments.

Gracie has no way of understanding just how much she is loved by her granddad. Maybe someday she will.

I know today is special to her mom and dad--and, her brother is working on it!

Of course, there is a reason for all of this. Plain and simple, it is all about love, commitment and being fully, hilariously, outrageously, wonderfully human!

I see everything that is good and hopeful and eternal about life in this one little girl.

She makes me grateful that I have lived.

Happy Birthday, Gracie Bea!

Granddad loves you!

Not in our neighborhood—role reversal

Almost twenty years ago, Dallas County Commissioner John Wiley Price caused quite a stir when he began a campaign to drive liquor billboard advertisements out of South Dallas. Mr. Price whitewashed a number of billboards himself as a way to call attention to the inordinate number of such signs in his district. He also pointed out the presence of far too many establishments with licenses to sell alcohol in his part of town. As a minister in far North Dallas at the time, I remember cheering him on, to the chagrin of some of my own parishioners.

More recently, protest efforts, community organizing and legal action have combined to focus attention on the area around and between Lincoln High School and Pearl C. Anderson Learning Center. The area immediately around Pearl C. is home to 10 liquor stores.

Not long ago, one of the stores lost its license to sell alcohol. The community celebrated the decision by Dallas County Clerk Cynthia Calhoun to close Buy N Save Discount Beer & Wine. Unfortunately, her decision was overturned last week by a Dallas County judge who cited “procedural errors” in the ruling and sent the case back to the Texas Alcohol and Beverage Commission (TABC). The TABC could decide to renew the store’s license or call for another public hearing on the matter.

Since the mid-1990s, neighbors, school leaders and students have been working to get the stores closed due to their proximity to the schools. In 1995, their efforts paid off as the Dallas City Council passed an ordinance that established a 1,000-foot alcohol free zone around specified schools.

Unfortunately, the existing stores were “grandfathered” and allowed to continue business inside the zone around Pearl C.

All sorts of negative activities have been reported and documented as occurring in and around stores like Buy N Save that do business in the Lincoln/Pearl C. area, including prostitution, selling alcohol to minors and drug trafficking. For years, students walking to and from school have been subjected to all sorts of negative experiences, influences and harassment.

Neighbors and school leaders have been vigilant in their protests and watchfulness, but the stores remain.

I’m reminded of Mr. Price’s earlier actions on behalf of some of the same families, and his entire district.

Why should South Dallas be subjected to such influences? Folks in North Dallas wouldn’t put up with such circumstances even for a moment. What's more, they would be heard. Folks in South Dallas don't seem to get the same sort of hearing, attention or responsiveness from public officials as those who live up North.

If you live in Dallas, write your Council Member, as the Council is considering the creation of more alcohol-free zones around other public schools in the city.

[For more details, see “Move against beer store near school reversed,” by Scott Goldstein, The Dallas Morning News, Thursday, March 22, 2007, page 8B.]

Want some "feel good" inspiration?

If you do, then you should visit the blog produced by the students involved in Central Dallas Ministries' After School Academy.

These children are beyond amazing!

Never mind that they live in one of the poorest neighborhoods in Dallas, from a material standpoint. Certainly nothing "poor" about these children when it comes to who they are and what they are doing!

From photography (this photo is an example of their work!), to chess, to golf, to ballet, to homework, and more, these students are doing great work and expanding the capacity of their learning beyond belief!

Do me a favor. Check out their own weblog: http://www.ourasafamily.blogspot.com/.

Living spaces. . .

Children.

What could be more important to a community, its health and its future?

Where children live matters.

Environments shape experiences and affect lives significantly.

While we gain inspiration from the "poster child" stories of youth who grow up and "make it out," the fact remains that most don't enjoy such success.

Remember this surprising fact: a child raised in a negative home environment, but in a good neighborhood, has a better chance for a life of health and well-being than does a child raised in a positive home environment, but in a troubled neighborhood (Malcolm Gladwell, The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference).

I have no idea who this little boy is talking to. Possibly a concerned parent is on the other end of this line.

I do know his neighborhood.

It is tough.

It is poor.

It is largely negative.

We fool ourselves against our own self-interest when we forget that living spaces in the city demand our high priority attention.

[Photograph by Janet Morrison]

Mother's Choice

Several months ago a bright, young marketing guy produced and gave us this video. "Mother's Choice" gets at the choices facing low-income parents who struggle to make a positive life for themselves and their children.

The spot has aired several times thanks to WFAA TV Channel 8 here in Dallas.

Our work is all about engaging people like the mom behind the sounds you will hear as you read of her dilemma.

Remember her today.