A Night to Remember 2011. . .tickets on sale now for October 29!

Asking for money vs. caring for people

Yes, I ask people for money all of the time.

But, a surprising thing has happened to me over the past 13 years in the city. I care less and less about the gift.

When I say that my focus today is the giver, please don't hear me commending myself. I'm not patting myself on the back, not at all.

There is just no other position to take in the matter if I want to sleep at night!

Major wealth is a challenge and, I have come to believe for many/most people, at times a special burden.

I find myself asking for money less and less often. What I am inquiring most about these days is the life of the wealthy person who expresses interest in what we are doing.

Important questions, having nothing at all to do with what a donor may or may not decide to do for my organization, need to be posed to the very wealthy.

As a new friend told me recently, "It is a grand time to be wealthy."

That is certainly true from the standpoint of the growing wealth of the very wealthy in the U. S.

But, with multiplying wealth comes all sort of unique problems and specialized issues.

Taxes are a huge concern for most mega-wealthy folks. Thus, the proliferation of the family foundation as a means of managing that special set of challenges. Many people create foundations to handle tax burdens, but have little if any idea as to what the mission of their foundation will be.

Children as heirs is another gigantic concern for the very wealthy. The rich care about their children just as I care about mine. But the transfer of wealth to the next generation is not something that can be taken lightly. Parents worry about this significant passage in their lives and the affect it will have on the next and succeeding generations.

We are all on a journey through life.

My obligation, it seems to me, is to ask about the life stories, the dreams, the interests and the hopes of people--rich and poor alike.

I've noticed when I communicate to a wealthy donor that I care most about his story, her journey, his hopes and her mission, our conversations turn inward and go deeper. These conversations allow space for "safe reflection" and processing along a path of personal and community growth.

I've come to a place where donations just aren't the point.

Shared life, authentic understanding and productive action as community is what the journey entails.

Loving wealthy people is all about understanding and listening and really caring.

Just like loving poor people.

The challenge of wealth

When people ask me what I do for a living, I often respond with, "Oh, I'm a professional beggar."

My headstone should read something like, "Behold, the beggar died!"

It is true. I spend a fair, and increasing, amount of my time asking people for money. With some of my friends it's become a real joke.

A few years ago, I attended a Dallas Mavericks' basketball game with my good friend, Dan Hopkins. At halftime they blindfolded some poor guy, put him down on his hands and knees and the crowd yelled "hot" or "cold" depending on how close he was to another person wearing a sandwich board with "$500" printed on both sides. If the guy reached the "target" before the music stopped, he won the money.

Dan turned to me after the guy won the money and asked, "Would you agree to do that?"

I replied, "Shoot, Dan, that's what I do for a living!"

He roared and has never let me forget it.

Across the years I have developed an authentic respect for wealthy people, and not just because of our need for their financial support.

The very rich face challenges that most of us never really think about, let alone come to understand.

There is a special sort of burden attached to being wealthy.

In fact, I've noticed across the years that the very rich often share more in common with the very poor than they do with the middle class.

In some ways, in the case of the very rich and the very poor the "sky is the limit" as we say. The wealthy can do just about whatever they decide to do, though the deciding is the challenge. While the very poor, though certainly in no position to do whatever they desire, can realize great gains and receive real encouragement even in small steps because their circumstances are so open to improvement, but again, focus is a lively issue.

The mega-rich worry about the next generation and the transfer of wealth and responsibility and the impact of all of that on children and heirs. The ultra-poor worry about their children, as well, but for much different reasons. Still, generational wealth and poverty share many of the same emotional dynamics.

Many people of wealth and poverty struggle spiritually or theologically with what their personal economic position in life means about their own faith journey, purpose and significance. In many cases both rich and poor are more attuned to this thought process than many of us in the middle range.

I've watched very wealthy people relate intimately and authentically, displaying great openness to what can be learned from the very poor. And, I must say, in a way that is often lost on many middle class folks who often come to "fix" things and to offer instructions about how things ought to be conducted. The very wealthy I've known seldom seem so conditional in their commitments to the poor, and the poor respond with friendship and appreciation that can be amazing.

Stereotypes are never very useful. And, I understand that everyone is different. But, I've seen and felt what I am describing here. I need to think more about it.

For now, let me simply say that it is intriguing to watch.

More to follow.