The "Grief Buckets" of Turner Courts

“We carry grief in buckets here,” the wrinkled, dried up,

Old woman told me.

“Everbody done lost somethin’ round here. . .everybody!”

“I’m tellin’ ya.”

A job.

A house.

A car.

The lights.

The water.

A marriage.

A child.

A grandchild

A momma.

A daddy.

A man.

A woman.

A brother or a sister. 

Freedom.

Respect.

Options.

Health.

Voice, a say.

Hope.

"And it’s sure ‘nuff real stuff!”

“Everbody done lost somethin’ round here. . .everybody!”

“Did I say to ya, we carry our grief in buckets here?”

"Sure 'da truth, brother."  

Griffey

Griffey has been part of our family for over a decade.  Jennifer and Brandon, our daughter and son-in-law, brought him home as a puppy just after they were married.  Of course, Gracie and Wyatt have known him since they were born.  Griffey watched over them protectively and tolerated their playfulness and wrestling on a daily basis.  Everyone in our family loved him. 

On Friday, the time arrived for Griffey to pass on from here to the next life.  He lived the last few years with cancer, but only began to suffer recently.  The veterinarian who carried for Griffey, cared even more for the Toombs family as they told their beloved pet a tearful "Good-bye."  The passage was sweet, even the sadness worked out right.  We all have cried. 

Griffey was a very good boy.  We will never forget him.  He did so much for us.

Gracie offered about the best summary of this special pet that I could imagine when she said, "Griffey understood everything about us, but we didn't understand everything about him." 

Rest in peace, old friend.  You did your work well, very well, indeed.  

Colum McCann, Let the Great World Spin: A Novel

After hearing Colum McCann interviewed over the Christmas break, I put his latest novel, Let the Great World Spin, on my "must read soon" list.  The book is about life in urban America. 

Listen to an interview with him by clicking here.

Wyshina Harris, tragic loss

Last Saturday morning at about 7:00 a.m., Wyshina Harris, our dear friend and former team member here at Central Dallas Ministries was gunned down on her way to work. A wonderful person, a great mom, a hard working community leader, Wyshina Harris was murdered in cold blood on her way to work.

When she worked with us here at CDM, she provided wonderful direction for the children in our After School Academy located in Turner Courts, a Dallas Housing Authority development where she lived for a time. More recently she had moved with her children to a house in far East Dallas.

No doubt many of you have seen the stories about this heinous crime. Read the initial report in The Dallas Morning News here.

Wyshina leaves two precious children, Jordan, second grader, and Jazmine, a seventh grader (pictured above).

Earlier this week I received a message from Janet Morrison, Director of Education Outreach and Wyshina's former supervisor, that read in part:

Education and seeing her kids succeed was so important to her. I know that she would want to know that they are completely taken care of. We are assuming that Jazmine and Jordan will stay with their grandparents here in Dallas, but nothing has been finalized yet. I have been trying to think of ways that Wyshina would have wanted to see her children taken care of in her passing. Sylvia and I decided that the best way would be to set up a trust fund of some kind so that the kids will have be taken care of. We are currently looking into the details of setting it up. After I talk to Wyshina's parents, I can let you know more about what they decide will be the most helpful.

DONATIONS
If you would like to donate money (in lieu of flowers…or in addition to flowers) to secure a fund for Jordan and Jazmine, please make checks payable to Central Dallas Ministries with Wyshina Harris in the memo line. You can send the checks to Central Dallas Ministries, Attn: Jenny Fogel, P.O. Box 710385, Dallas, TX 75371. Or, if you would rather donate online, go to www.centraldallasministries.org/donate and click on Wyshina Harris in the drop down menu. (Note: if "Wyshina Harris" hasn't been added yet, click on Education and then email me to let me know the amount you donated so that they can make sure your funds are designated correctly).

To read more about this wonderful person and what a great loss our community has experienced in her death visit Janet's blog at http://janetmorrison.blogspot.com/. You'll be able to see a number of photos at Janet's site. Those of us who counted Wyshina as a friend will smile and cry at once.

May God have mercy. May the violence stop.

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Sorrow

Several years ago an old lady who has lived inner city South Dallas for most of her long life told me something I'll likely never forget.

Somehow the subject of grief came up.

If I remember correctly, someone in the community whom we both knew had passed away. As we spoke about loss and the pain that attends it, this woman said, "Oh, brother Larry, we carry our grief in buckets around here. Everybody has lost so much along the way."

As I probed a bit deeper as to what she meant, she went on to remind me that loss loomed large and everywhere in her part of the city.

Lost: Jobs, mates, parents, children, siblings, health, homes, stores, schools, security, services, justice, hope. . . .

Her list trailed off, but seemed endless.

Some losses were all about death, violence, and crime.

Others related to the giant holes existing in the community's ability to simply live securely and to care for itself.

As she told me about the grief of her community and how much everyone carried, we fell silent for a long while.

Then, she said, "We just have to carry so much, so much."

All I could think to say was, "I'm so sorry."

All I could think to do was to give her a hug.

Sorrow is a burden, especially when there's so much of it.


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