When I worked in the church as a minister and preacher, I battled cycles of despondency that became almost predictable in their timing.
At times, my emotional life felt like a roller coaster.
I can recall feeling as if it would be easier to extract eye teeth than to come up with even one more word to speak to my church!
Those feelings were difficult and, at times, scary.
Over the past 13 years I have experienced this sort of episodic depression only rarely.
My most recent awareness of these feelings surfaced about a month ago.
I don't know all of the reasons. I expect the press of our unrelenting need for funding, the growing pains of our expanding organization, the number of fairly high intensity projects now on the drawing boards and the dramatic increase in the need in our community all combine in a way that wears me out!
While I have never been certain about all the causes behind such experiences and feelings, I am clear about their remedy:
People and the energy flowing from them.
Tuesday of this week turned out to be a "break through" day for me. I found my life for my work again--a literal surge of new energy, but even more a sort of clearing away the fog from my soul.
I sat and listened, really listened to five guys who live on the street.
Earlier that same day I reconnected with a fellow I hadn't seen in about 8 years. He had been locked up in prison until just about a month ago. Our reunion was invigorating. He was so glad to be home.
It is the connection to this reality, the reality and beauty of people--the human enterprise--that lifts me when I struggle with my work.
People always provide that for me.
How about you?