Reciprocity

In Both Directions

The church has a long history of serving people at the margins…. At the same time, however, an older problem has been intensified. The modern self’s blindness to the other as part of the self has led to an increasing perception of charity as a one-way street, something that originates with the charitable self and leads to handouts for those in need…. Fresh encounters with people on the underside of history introduce a critical change. In solidarity with the marginalized, the modern one-way street gradually begins to bear traffic in both directions.

Joerg Rieger
Source: Remember the Poor

Heard in church yesterday. . .

Rev. Dr. Andy Stoker, Senior Minister at First United Methodist Church, Dallas, read this great Maya Angelou poem during his Lenten sermon yesterday.  I was ill at home, but caught the message via streaming media!   Ironically, I was alone as I listened.

Alone

Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don't believe I'm wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

There are some millionaires
With money they can't use
Their wives run round like banshees
Their children sing the blues
They've got expensive doctors
To cure their hearts of stone.
But nobody
No, nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Now if you listen closely
I'll tell you what I know
Storm clouds are gathering
The wind is gonna blow
The race of man is suffering
And I can hear the moan,
'Cause nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Intersections

Someone once observed "that the kitchen is the heart of any home, but the porch is its soul."  
I get that.

I've spent a good deal of time thinking about porches lately.

As I've reported previously, every Thursday that I'm in town, I sit on the porch of an old, abandoned house on Malcolm X Boulevard.  I try to bring an ice chest of bottled water to share with passersby, as well as those who choose to stop and sit a while for a visit.

Almost all of the people I meet on this porch live on the streets of Dallas.  Almost all are extremely poor.  Most face challenges that I can't begin to comprehend.  But we have a grand time.

Recently, I sat on another porch that appeared quite different.

This second porch attached itself to a beautiful lodge nestled beside the White River outside Harrison, Arkansas.  Six of us, some acquainted and some not, made the trip to fly fish and enjoy the beauty of the river and its environs.

What a trip!  And we caught lots and lots of trout!

Every evening before enjoying a great meal prepared for us by the lodge owners, we would retreat to the back porch to visit and recount the day's fishing adventure.

After dinner, we migrated back to the porch to look at the stars, listen to the river, enjoy a night cap and visit some more.

On the surface these two porches would appear to have nothing whatsoever in common.

Abandoned, old, decaying house with porch to match versus the luxury and comfort of a well-maintained lodge home with open air, covered porch.

Beneath the surface where things happen that really matter, the two porches share so much in common.

On each porch, men sit and talk and laugh and enjoy each other's company.

On each porch, men reflect on family, finances, dreams, experiences and life.

On both porches, men really connect.

On both porches, men envision a better life, discuss hopes and dreams, recall setbacks and laugh about some truly stupid mistakes.

On both, a group of men enjoy fellowship, community, mutual support.

On each porch things happen, things verbalized that build up and nurture self-worth and value.

As I reflect, the amazing thing to me is just how similar the two "porch experiences" really are.

Here's the challenge:  how do I get the lives of the people hanging out on these two porches to intersect?

I know in my gut that such gatherings, especially if they were frequent, would transform the participants and, even more, our community.

Hmmm.  Maybe we need to plan a fishing trip!

Communion in bread

Communion

Sometime in your life,
hope that you might see one starved man,
the look on his face when the bread
finally arrives. Hope that you
might have baked it or bought it
or even kneaded it yourself.
For that look on his face,
for your meeting his eyes
across a piece of bread,
you might be willing to lose a lot,
or suffer a lot,
or die a little even.

                    

                                      --Daniel Berrigan

POTUS sings Al Green!!!

Forget partisan issues and perspectives.  Just enjoy the fun and the humanity! 

A day

Days pass like a whirlwind for me. 

Unfortunately, at the end of most days, I seldom stop to reflect on what's happened to me. 

Yesterday was not unusual, but it brought my way a number of significant experiences. 

9:08 a.m.  Fire alarms going off in building.  This time it is no false alarm or test drill.  Smoke reported on the 10th floor.  We evacuated the building.  I rode up to 10 to check it out.  One of our tenants, a wonderful gentleman who lives in a wheelchair, had burned his breakfast a bit.  When he opened his door to air out his apartment, the smoke filled the hallway and set off the alarm.  He was fine.  No harm done.  But, we are ready for a fire!

10:00 a.m. A bus load (Dallas Cowboys' bus, in fact!) of bright, young high school students being honored by Bank of America as recipients of its student leaders award in the Neighborhood Excellence Initiative.  They came to see CitySquare and to tour the CityWalk building Downtown.  Delightful, amazing, smart, concerned group of kids! 

11:34 a.m. Team member shared a bit of "core meltdown" with me about certain aspects of our work!  Painful.  Grieving.  Honest.  Tearful.  Hopeful.  Hard.  Processing.  Growing.  Tough, but important. 

1:00 p.m. Meeting with "Food on the Move" team:  White, Vicknair, Smith--Nurture, Knowledge, Nutrition; AmeriCorps; PepsiCo.  Great people.  Creative beyond belief.  Committed to the extreme!  Lots of meals going out to community; leaders seeing room for improvement.  Lots of energy.

3:00 p.m. Met with a brilliant entrepreneur who owns an on-line sales company that is growing rapidly and adding customers and employees.  Opened discussion about his business taking space in the new "Opportunity Center" on Malcolm X!  Looks very favorable.  Bringing scores of jobs to this very depressed area would be an answer to many prayers! 

5:20 p.m. On my way to workout at the Y across the street, ran into a young man who lives in our building.  He greeted me warmly, honored me with a handshake reserved only for friends and those he respects.  As we talked for a moment, I recalled how he seemed when we first met many months ago:  closed, guarded, rather eccentric and depressed.  Now he's engaged, happy and part of the community.  Seems to have found home. 

Who knows what today will bring!  I hope I can take the time to be more "into my moments" and just reflect.

Loneliness and health

Can loneliness really damage your health?

Monday, 23 August 2010
Independent Minds

What is loneliness?

A recent paper in the US journal Public Library of Science: Medicine highlighted how instances of loneliness can increase mortality. But what does it actually mean to be lonely? According to the mental health charity Mind, loneliness is characterised by an unbearably deep sense of separateness.

The organisation's website suggests that people's ability to balance isolation versus social interaction evolves through their lives. "There are bound to be times in our lives when this process of growing up, of becoming separate selves, feels difficult," reads Mind's official advice. "[These are times] when we feel anxious, abandoned, unloved, insecure."

Being alone is not always a bad thing: solitude has been very helpful to many well-known writers, philosophers and composers. Some creative interests developed over a lifetime – painting or sculpture, say – can be an important part of stability and contentment.

How can being alone affect your health?

There is a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Many people spend time away from other people through choice, whereas loneliness often relates to a lack of support and acceptance within a social context. Removal of social support is almost always to the detriment of our mental and physical health.

It has been shown that loneliness makes it harder to regulate behaviour, rendering people more likely to drink excessive quantities of alcohol, have unhealthier diets, or take less exercise. There is also evidence that loneliness adversely affects the immune and cardiovascular systems, while psychiatric research has demon-strated links to stress and depression.

Who is feeling lonely?

According to a recent report by a British charity, the Mental Health Foundation, loneliness affects men and women of all ages but the younger you are the more likely you are to feel lonely on a regular basis. And women are more disposed than men to feel estranged from society and to experience depression as a result. Factors causing loneliness include: lifestyle changes due to social networking; cheap air travel meaning we may live further from our families; and people delaying the age at which they marry and have children.

In the US over the past 20 years there has been a three-fold increase in the number of people who say they have no close confidants. Someone surrounded by people may still feel desperately lonely. Many people seeking help for over-whelming feelings of loneliness have active social lives, busy jobs, stable relationships or marriages, and family.

How does loneliness negatively affect your health, compared with life-threatening diseases?

The Public Library of Science study looked at data from 148 previous studies and concluded that social relationships lead to a longer life. The negative effect of loneliness on people's well-being is comparable to the impact of excessive smoking and alcohol, and exceeds the effects of no exercise or obesity. The report's authors have called on the media and public, as well as social services and medical professionals, to take loneliness seriously. That said, Mental Health Foundation experts say they "in no way want to pathologise loneliness and describe it at a disease".

What kind of relationships are best for us?

The degree of loneliness relates to the breadth and depth of our social relationships. To what extent do our social networks support and accept us? We are advised to seek and cultivate relationships that make us feel good about ourselves – especially relevant in the age of online social networking.

The Mental Health Foundation suggests that beneficial physiological reactions – chemical processes believed to underpin the link between social contact and good cardiovascular function – occur as a result of physical and intellectual relationships but not when a relationship is virtual. Social networking websites and other technological advances can make it easier for us to keep in contact with people over long distances and long periods of time, but shouldn't constitute a replace-ment for face-to-face relationships.

What can you do to stave off loneliness?

People should look at local opportunities: sports clubs, book groups or volunteer organisations. These are often made available through GP surgeries, mental health services, youth workers, occupational therapists and local authority websites. Mental Health charities support local services that facilitate face-to-face contact, and neighbourhood schemes that encourage people to engage proactively with their communities. Most importantly, the awareness of loneliness needs to be increased through greater public debate.

There is some evidence to suggest that being part of a social network is more advantageous than one-off instances of support, and that help from a friend is better than that provided by a stranger.

One Man's Treasure

I caught this image on my cell phone about three blocks from my house last week.

The gentleman struggled mightily with his cumbersome load, a large quantity of carpet padding.

I've wondered what plans he had for the treasure he had found.

Possibly he was going to use it as a pad for his "bed," wherever that might be hidden away.

Or, maybe he had plans to sell the padding. I can't imagine where, but who knows.

The picture represents just one moment in time--a moment in his life and mine.

I rushed on toward a day of work and challenge. He struggled on into his day as well, filled with work and challenge of a different sort.

One man's junk is often an other's treasure.

I've been thinking of the gentleman in my photo. I pray his "find" turned out to be worthwhile to him.

I'll be looking for him again.

The Black Eyed Peas: One Tribe

A forgotten tune heard and enjoyed at Gracie's recent dance recital.

Good words.

Good wisdom.

True stuff, whether we recognize it or not!

Authentic Community in San Antonio

Watch the interview below involving two residents of Lincoln Heights Courts who are involved in Urban Connection--San Antonio.

Our efforts bring people together in power ways.

Where the streets have no names

. . .opening track from U2's 1987 album, The Joshua Tree.

In a 1987 interview, Bono said of the song:

"Where the Streets Have No Name is more like the U2 of old than any of the other songs on the LP, because it’s a sketch - I was just trying to sketch a location, maybe a spiritual location, maybe a romantic location. I was trying to sketch a feeling. I often feel very claustrophobic in a city, a feeling of wanting to break out of that city and a feeling of wanting to go somewhere where the values of the city and the values of our society don’t hold you down. An interesting story that someone told me once is that in Belfast, by what street someone lives on you can tell not only their religion but tell how much money they’re making - literally by which side of the road they live on, because the further up the hill the more expensive the houses become. You can almost tell what the people are earning by the name of the street they live on and what side of that street they live on. That said something to me, and so I started writing about a place where the streets have no name."

Of course, Bono's on to something that we all recognize in our own cities.  What if we lived in a community where the value of the human capital was not linked to nore judged by place of residence, income level, race, religion or educational attainment?  What if we all began to recognize the inherent worth, in real world terms, of every single person living in the city we call home?  What if status was determined by generosity, commitment to neighborhood and one's fellow citizens?  What if the names on the street signs simply told us our geographic location in our increasingly smaller world? 

I think I get this song.  How about you?



I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
I want to reach out
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name

I want to feel sunlight on my face
I see the dust cloud disappear
Without a trace
I want to take shelter from the poison rain
Where the streets have no name

Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name

We're still building
Then burning down love
Burning down love
And when I go there
I go there with you
It's all I can do

The city's aflood
And our love turns to rust
We're beaten and blown by the wind
Trampled in dust
I'll show you a place
High on a desert plain
Where the streets have no name

Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name
We're still building
Then burning down love
Burning down love
And when I go there
I go there with you
It's all I can do

Our love turns to rust
We're beaten and blown by the wind
Blown by the wind
Oh, and I see love
See our love turn to rust
We're beaten and blown by the wind
Blown by the wind
Oh, when I go there
I go there with you
It's all I can do

Break in. . .

The back door to our Resource Center warehouse includes a faulty locking mechanism.  As a result, a stiff slam or a hard kick can be necessary to engage the latch. 

On Wednesday evening I received a call that the alarm was sounding at the building.  I went to the building, disarmed and rearmed the security system and performed the obligatory slam to secure the door. 

As I drove away from the building, I noticed a person--at the time I thought it a woman--walking slowly up the street away from the corner bus stop.  I've experienced these kinds of after dark encounters countless times.  Normally I would have lowered my window and engaged in a bit of conversation.  But, it was Thanksgiving Eve, we had grandchildren at home.  I was in a hurry. 

Mistake.

About an hour after my first call, I received a second reporting that the front door of the building had been smashed and numerous items stolen from the upstairs office suite and kitchen.  The person who broke in had been apprehended, cuffed and given a seat in the back of a squad car.  When I caught a glimpse of his face, I realized the prisoner was none other than the person I had seen less than an hour before crossing the street as I left for home. 

As we fixed the door to secure the building, one of our guys commented, "Well, he probably didn't know where he was going to spend Thanksgiving, but now he does." 

Sad deal.

I wish I had talked to him.  Asked him what he needed, if anything.  Responded to him like I would like to be treated had I been all alone on the dark night.  I know.  I know.  He broke in.  He was the person responsible for the mess. 

But, still.   I wonder how much happens in the city simply because people like me just pass on by?

Two Men

One flying home in his blind rush,

Agendas whirling,
Time demanding,
Wheel in hand,

Thinking of lunch and after,

Work, football, family, obligations,

Weary with the constant press.

One limping along with one concern,

Eating something,

A next meal's hope

Balanced now atop a makeshift cart,

Once a baby carriage,

Piled high with cans,

Weary of the day-to-day nothing.

One glancing in a rearview mirror,

Then into tired, empty eyes,

Catches sight of the canner

With his limp and

His valiant struggle to right His load,

Considers their common burden.

One surprised by the car,

The lowered window, the offer,

"Mister, can I buy your cans?"

Of course, where should I put them?

A cash exchange, a brief moment of

Human contact to lift a burden,

A tear in the eye of each.

Two men,
A few words, smiles,
A small amount of cash,
Exchanged together with connection,
Without obligation;
Pure concern, pure gratitude,
Relief for both.

Comfort for those who labor

It is a strange text, but then, there are many in the Hebrew Bible's first entry. Genesis, or "beginnings," seeks to introduce us to some of the first people on earth.

Reading from my new copy of The Poverty and Justice Bible, I came across it all marked up in bright orange:

Lamech said, "I'll name him Noah because he will give us comfort, as we struggle hard to make a living on this land that the Lord has put under a curse. (Genesis 5:29)

It helps to know that the Hebrew name Noah sounds a good bit like the Hebrew word that we translate "comfort."

Nice play on words. The Hebrew Bible is filled with these little word plays that enhance the meaning of the message.

From the start people faced the challenge of wrestling a life out of the raw resources of the earth. The Genesis story tells of a curse placed on the ground due to the rebellion and mistakes of our first parents.

"Making a living" has never been an easy matter.

Lamech knew what was needed, what he hoped for when his son came along: Comfort in the work!

Noah comes to the world tagged as a community builder, a person who will lighten loads and lift spirits for the benefit of others--comforting the community will be a huge part of who he becomes.

Life can be very, very difficult.

At the same time, we are not meant to face life alone. The importance of being together, of receiving comfort from others, especially those gifted to share it, can't be over emphasized. When community is present and honored, the land loosens its grip on its wealth, people flourish in spite of the harshness of things.

Noah begins his life with a direction. Great advantage that.

To be called "Comfort" in the midst of hard circumstances is a very good thing. May we share and receive it in abundance in the year that is ahead of us.

.