60

For some reason I remember my 10th birthday. 

We'd had snow that winter (1959-1960).  Santa brought me a great, new bike.  It was red and white and chrome and very cool. I rode that bike into the ground and until I was too old and too embarassed to ride it any longer, even with the addition of the "longhorn" handle bars! 

Somewhere in the mix of that time and the celebration I recall thinking, "Fifty years from now--let's see. . .that'll be 2010--I'll turn 60!" 

Of course, that seemed a world away; clearly a lifetime down the road.  So far away that I really couldn't imagine my ever making it to that point, let alone understanding what survival would mean or entail. 

Today, that point arrived. 

I made it. 

I'm 60-years-old! 

Frankly, it feels like just another day to me.  People around me seem to be taking it harder than I. 

Of course, I'm glad to have endured.  Enjoying a 60th birthday beats any other alternative I can imagine. 

But, life passes and it fills up an hour, a moment at a time. 

I'm very grateful for the way time has filled my life. 

Last week I reflected with a friend on this matter of age and aging.  We wondered together if we could make it 15 more years in the world of work and continuing activity.  He didn't seem too sure! 

When I was ten, I couldn't really see 60.  Now that I'm 60, I strain to see 80, but it is much closer than the horizon with which I contended back in 1960 as I rode that shinny new bike. 

Life is a mystery.  Life is a gift.  I expect we need to make the most of it. . .today.

birthday

Strange, this game,
Riding the blue-green spinning orb
Around a giant globe of fire;
No problem staying aboard,
But the meaning, that's another matter!

Much has happened here,
Long before my turn;
Preserved bits and pieces
Of the curious story remain for reflection,
Only adding to the mystery.

My place in it all
Seems so amusing, small,
At times devoid of meaning,
Purpose darts about and flees, leading me
To the here and now of things.

Strange, familiar aloneness
Covers the days, not the only choice,
For all seek meaning like that
Uncovered in another's
Voice and pain and hope.

We ride on,
Spinning around the fire,
On the way toward deeper mystery,
Counting days and learning names,
Holding on to love.

Wyatt James

April 2, 2004 stands out among a handful of days that I rank as "the best" and "the happiest" in my life so far.

Three years ago today, Wyatt James Toombs found his way into the world and, he too, went straight for his granddad's heart!

During a good bit of the first year of his life, Wyatt and his family lived in New Braunfels, Texas. As a result, I didn't get to spend much time with him until his family moved back to Dallas about two years ago when he was a bit less than a year old. Since then, I've tried to make up for lost time!

Wyatt is amazing.

Active beyond words, possessing a bit of a quick temper and a highly competitive spirit, Wyatt has a tender heart and a deep reservoir of emotional energy. He will grow up to be a sensitive man with lots of passion, I expect.

Already he loves tools and trucks and trains and action! He can be so very funny!

He displays the ability to really connect with people. He is a charming little dude!

Like his big sister, Wyatt can slow me down in a heartbeat.

"Come on, granddad! Let's go upstairs and see my trains. Percy needs a battery," he calls out to me, as he leads up up the stairs, flying ahead of me because he knows I will come every time.

Or, "Granddad, where are you?"

Talk about automatic and on-going self-inventory!

And, like his sister, he teaches me what life is really all about. Purpose, direction, meaning, hope, laughter, surprise and joy are all wrapped up for me in getting to be his granddad.

He cannot know today how much I love him, though I tell him every time we are together. I hope I live long enough for him to know the full extent of my love.

Today is hard for me because I find myself out-of-town on business. Even though we have a big family party planned for Wyatt and Gracie next weekend, this afternoon I'll miss his party with his friends at "Pump-It-Up."

I can just hear him telling me again, "Granddad, I can jump a lot and I can go down the big slide!"

I hope I don't miss another birthday party. I know I'll be trying not to from here on out.

Happy Birthday, Wyatt!

Granddad loves you!

Gracie Bea

March 31, 2002, five years ago today ranks as one of the very best and happiest days of my entire life.

It was on that very special day that Gracie Bea Toombs made her way into the world and right into my heart.

It is difficult to realize that she is already five-years-old, but she is. If you don't believe it, just ask her!

Gracie teaches me many things, among the best lessons so far is this understanding that life flies past and that you have to be intentional about the moments. I don't always do so well with this truth, but every time I stop to be with her or every time she shares time with me, I always feel better, more alive and in touch with what matters most in life.

Gracie's namesake was her great-grandmother, Bea Moore Erwin. Gracie shares in the richness of her great-grandmother's spirit and love. Bea died before Gracie was born, but I have this feeling they know each other.

She has a wisdom about her beyond her years, a focus, a joy, a curiosity and a built-in sense of adventure and playfulness that makes me feel much younger than I am. I expect this is the plan God has for grandchildren and grandparents. This plan makes me very, very glad.

Gracie is fun and funny! She is smart and sensitive. She cares and she loves.

Nothing is more satisfying than simply watching her in the ordinary moments.

Gracie has no way of understanding just how much she is loved by her granddad. Maybe someday she will.

I know today is special to her mom and dad--and, her brother is working on it!

Of course, there is a reason for all of this. Plain and simple, it is all about love, commitment and being fully, hilariously, outrageously, wonderfully human!

I see everything that is good and hopeful and eternal about life in this one little girl.

She makes me grateful that I have lived.

Happy Birthday, Gracie Bea!

Granddad loves you!